[StickupPercy]

https://news.sky.com/story/extremely-dr ... e-11558732

An Olympic champion has apologised after his curling team was thrown out of a Canadian tournament for being "extremely drunk".

Wade Thurber, facility manager of the centre in Alberta, told CBC Sports: "They went out to curl and they were extremely drunk and breaking brooms and swearing and just unacceptable behaviour that nobody wants to watch or hear or listen to and it was just 'enough was enough'".

[Country Bloke]

https://metro.co.uk/2018/11/16/parrots- ... d-8148339/

Parrot’s smoke alarm impression was so good firefighters were called.

[StickupPercy]

https://news.sky.com/story/amateur-club ... h-11565732

Amateur club sorry for 'gross error of judgement' after falsely reporting footballer's death.

The next match was postponed and players across the league wore black armbands and held a minute's silence to support his family.

[Country Bloke]

https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk ... t-15483878

Mum offered 'sexual favours' for fried chicken before racially abusing takeaway worker and spitting at police officer.

Manchester, so much to answer for.

[Gazza]

https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk ... t-15483878

Mum offered 'sexual favours' for fried chicken before racially abusing takeaway worker and spitting at police officer.

Manchester, so much to answer for.

I can't quite understand this, that's our Emma's (nee Royd) mate, she's lovely. Emma often goes to that shop and gets free fried chicken in exchange for a nosh. It's no wonder Kelly kicked off is it?

[StickupPercy]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-norfolk-46442749

Aylsham churchgoers use app to rate hymns. They can also answer questions on a projector screen and add to a "word cloud" of things the congregation is praying for.

[Greasy Roads]

https://metro.co.uk/2018/12/03/bringing ... to=cbshare

‘Bringing home the bacon’ could become redundant because of vegans.

On MOTD tonight with this in mind they seem to be slipping in every animal-related phrase they can think of.