[StickupPercy]

https://news.sky.com/story/extremely-dr ... e-11558732

An Olympic champion has apologised after his curling team was thrown out of a Canadian tournament for being "extremely drunk".

Wade Thurber, facility manager of the centre in Alberta, told CBC Sports: "They went out to curl and they were extremely drunk and breaking brooms and swearing and just unacceptable behaviour that nobody wants to watch or hear or listen to and it was just 'enough was enough'".

[Country Bloke]

https://metro.co.uk/2018/11/16/parrots- ... d-8148339/

Parrot’s smoke alarm impression was so good firefighters were called.

[StickupPercy]

https://news.sky.com/story/amateur-club ... h-11565732

Amateur club sorry for 'gross error of judgement' after falsely reporting footballer's death.

The next match was postponed and players across the league wore black armbands and held a minute's silence to support his family.

[Country Bloke]

https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk ... t-15483878

Mum offered 'sexual favours' for fried chicken before racially abusing takeaway worker and spitting at police officer.

Manchester, so much to answer for.

[Gazza]

https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk ... t-15483878

Mum offered 'sexual favours' for fried chicken before racially abusing takeaway worker and spitting at police officer.

Manchester, so much to answer for.

I can't quite understand this, that's our Emma's (nee Royd) mate, she's lovely. Emma often goes to that shop and gets free fried chicken in exchange for a nosh. It's no wonder Kelly kicked off is it?

[StickupPercy]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-norfolk-46442749

Aylsham churchgoers use app to rate hymns. They can also answer questions on a projector screen and add to a "word cloud" of things the congregation is praying for.

[Greasy Roads]

https://metro.co.uk/2018/12/03/bringing ... to=cbshare

‘Bringing home the bacon’ could become redundant because of vegans.

On MOTD tonight with this in mind they seem to be slipping in every animal-related phrase they can think of.

[StickupPercy]

https://www.geek.com/tech/parrot-falls- ... s-1766153/

Parrot ‘Falls in Love’ With Amazon Alexa, Uses It to Order Treats.

[Kleenex Cesarewitch]

https://metrouk2.files.wordpress.com/20 ... =540%2C328

Red meat and potato banned from World Pie Eating Championships over farting fears.

[DJLash]

Police release first image of Gatwick drone suspect.

[StickupPercy]

https://metro.co.uk/2018/11/09/woman-su ... a-8122978/

Woman sues her ex-boyfriend because ‘his abnormally long penis stretched her vagina’.

[Country Bloke]

https://www.givemesport.com/1265656-bbc ... -+Politics

BBC forced to respond after subtitle gaffe during Scotland vs England.

[StickupPercy]

https://news.sky.com/story/rudolph-the- ... e-11591320

Rudolph the red-nosed burglar sought by police.

[Country Bloke]

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2019/0 ... ll-police/

Man screaming at spider 'why don't you die?' triggers full police response.

[StickupPercy]

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-new ... r-13809762

Man gets Glade air freshener stuck up bum after 'sex game gone wrong'.

[Kleenex Cesarewitch]

https://www.theweek.co.uk/odd-news/9850 ... of-licence

Drunk driver gives police hamburger instead of licence. I would never do this no matter how drunk.

[StickupPercy]

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2019/0 ... ing-large/

Orlando Williams denies running Japanese restaurant at his house.

[Greasy Roads]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland- ... d-46946652

'Ancient' Aberdeenshire stone circle found to be 20 year old replica.

[Greasy Roads]

https://www.standard.co.uk/news/uk/paul ... 45026.html

Paul Pogba offers to take picture with Australian tourists on train... but they have no idea who the Manchester United star is.

Did I ever tell my John Lowe story?

[StickupPercy]

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/articl ... rland.html

Why I decided to give up my life in London and become a goat in Switzerland.