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 Job hunting ; Any tips?

Post #1 - 12 Feb 2018, 06:29

I've had no offers from the headhunters so I'm off down the job centre this morning. Has anyone had any experience of this or got any other tips?
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StuckupPercy
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Post #2 - 12 Feb 2018, 10:43

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Post #3 - 12 Feb 2018, 14:52

routemaster, Feb 12 2018, 10:43:10 AM wrote:https://www.arrivabus.co.uk/working-with-arriva/vacancies/

I applied for that but they said that it's impossible to retrain BMW drivers to use indicators. :(
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Post #4 - 12 Feb 2018, 15:23

StickupPercy, Feb 12 2018, 02:52:43 PM wrote:
routemaster, Feb 12 2018, 10:43:10 AM wrote:https://www.arrivabus.co.uk/working-with-arriva/vacancies/

I applied for that but they said that it's impossible to retrain BMW drivers to use indicators. :(

Looks like you're fucked then. :(
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Post #5 - 12 Feb 2018, 16:21

In my experience, the very best jobs don't get advertised, they simply land at your feet so to speak.

It's how I progressed throughout my career, and was able to retire at 32 on a massive golden handshake and frankly obscene pension payment. :heart:

I'm sure you'll find employ in the fullness of time, Stickup, of course I will never have to work again. :)
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Post #6 - 12 Feb 2018, 23:32

Me and Su love this song, StickupPercy, it's almost our tune.

phpBB [video]


I love fucking I fucking love that woman. :wub:
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Post #7 - 07 Mar 2018, 18:04

I have finally found employment as a recruiter. :)
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Post #8 - 07 Mar 2018, 21:27

StickupPercy, Mar 7 2018, 06:04:49 PM wrote:I have finally found employment as a recruiter. :)
There, I told you you'd find something. OK it's not in the same league as any of the prestigious positions I held, but you have to start somewhere.

You are aware you'll be dealing with an awful lot of unsuitable ne'r do wells. :rolleyes:
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Post #9 - 08 Mar 2018, 13:18

You wouldn't believe some of the CVs that get submitted here. There's this one loser who says he's quite happy to work unpaid overtime to take the weight off his boss. :wanker:
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Post #10 - 08 Mar 2018, 23:24

Here's another from the same weirdo I think, says he can convert any old concert recording into a lossless FLAC whatever the fuck that means.

Not to worry, it's nearly 10:30pm, I can knock off in an hour. :)
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Post #11 - 09 Mar 2018, 08:45

Having slept on it I think I'm going to forward one really good CV plus the one from the weirdo to the firm offering the easy looking job at a really good salary. It will give them an straightforward choice to make which is what they're after.
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Post #12 - 10 Mar 2018, 10:11

I don't know why I fucking bother, the firm offering the job with the good salary have offered an interview to the weird one. :(
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Post #13 - 13 Mar 2018, 16:11

That was the weirdest job interview I've ever had this morning. My train to Norwich got in right on time then a short taxi ride got me the the offices with time to spare. The panel of three women asked absolutely nothing about the administative post I'd applied for but instead kept asking these strange hypothetical questions. The last of these was "How would you get an elephant into a refridgerator?" I had to think on my feet so I replied that I'd shoot it, chop the tusks off with a chainsaw, and then carve the rest of the body up. I'd then sell the tusks and use the proceeds to bribe the local crematorium attendants to burn the cut up body and return the ashes to me which I would then put in the fridge. The women on the panel all looked disgustedly at me so I'm not sure if I got the job or not. I must look up what the firm's intitials PETA stand for when I get back.
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Post #14 - 14 Mar 2018, 00:13

I've just had an e-mail from the company I sent that weirdo to, they were delighted with my candidate and may look to offering him employment. :D

I was doubtful after sending him to the Petrified Elephants Taxidermy Association, but that's a string to my bow. :)
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Post #15 - 15 Mar 2018, 09:26

They've now confirment that they've given him the job. It's a funny old world. :mellow:
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Post #16 - 15 Mar 2018, 13:13

StickupPercy, Mar 15 2018, 09:26:32 AM wrote:They've now confirment that they've given him the job. It's a funny old world. :mellow:
I'm surprised you've still got a job because you can't fucking spell. :wanker:
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Post #17 - 15 Mar 2018, 14:31

routemaster, Mar 15 2018, 01:13:48 PM wrote:
StickupPercy, Mar 15 2018, 09:26:32 AM wrote:They've now confirment that they've given him the job. It's a funny old world. :mellow:
I'm surprised you've still got a job because you can't fucking spell. :wanker:
:angry:
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Post #18 - 24 Mar 2018, 08:44

I quit my job at PETA yesterday, I just couldn't stand the constant jibes about my shoes, my jacket, and the Greggs ham sandwiches I had for lunch. Worst of all they'd constantly play a dodgy counterfeit of Morrissey's latest CD which was both brickwalled and 1.5% slow. I'll be back at the employment agency on Monday. :(
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The stereo Radio Lancs Clitheroe '85 set on an official LP from the master tape, please...!

And Glasto 2015 and that other one from The Sage and a sky-blue vinyl of MES doing the footy results...!

BUY ALL YOUR FOOD WRAPPED IN PLASTIC IF YOU NEED TO

Post #19 - 24 Mar 2018, 10:37

The Strange One, Mar 24 2018, 08:44:30 AM wrote:I quit my job at PETA yesterday, I just couldn't stand the constant jibes about my shoes, my jacket, and the Greggs ham sandwiches I had for lunch. Worst of all they'd constantly play a dodgy counterfeit of Morrissey's latest CD which was both brickwalled and 1.5% slow. I'll be back at the employment agency on Monday. :(
PETA you say? You're that weird cunt I lined a job up for aren't you? :D

Fuck it, I'm taking Monday off.
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Post #20 - 26 Mar 2018, 08:51

Unbelievably I've already been offered another job starting in a couple of weeks. The drive over there looks a lot less busy than what I'm used to:

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I'm looking forward to going to the local pool before I start work:

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I'll be twiddling my thumbs for a while now but it will give me a chance to tidy up the bedsit. :)
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The stereo Radio Lancs Clitheroe '85 set on an official LP from the master tape, please...!

And Glasto 2015 and that other one from The Sage and a sky-blue vinyl of MES doing the footy results...!

BUY ALL YOUR FOOD WRAPPED IN PLASTIC IF YOU NEED TO

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