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 Tell us a joke ; A man walks into a bar.....

Post #61 - 19 Aug 2019, 23:08

I keep randomly shouting out 'Broccoli' and 'Cauliflower' - I think I might have florets.
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StuckupPercy
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Post #62 - 30 Aug 2019, 02:36

A farmer drives to a neighbor’s farmhouse and knocks on the door...

A boy, about 9, opens the door.

"Is your Dad or Mom home?" asks the farmer.

"No, they went to town."

"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?"

"No, he went with Mom and Dad."

The farmer stands there for a few minutes, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, mumbling to himself.

The young boy finally says, "I know where all the tools are if you want to borrow one. If that’s not why you’re here, I can give Mom or Dad a message."

"Well." The farmer looks extremely uncomfortable. "I need to talk to your Dad about your brother, Howard, getting my daughter, Suzy, pregnant.".

The boy tilts his head to the side and thinks about that for a moment. "You WILL have to talk to my Dad about that.” He decides. “I know he charges $250 for our bulls to service other folks' cows and he charges $150 for our boars to service other folks' sows. I have no idea how much he charges for Howard.”

The boy smiles and goes on...

"But I'd be willing to give it a shot for $10..."
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Mushshrooms
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Post #63 - 30 Aug 2019, 10:39

:clap:
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Father Hasil Cocteau, SJ;
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...before you the wimpled past, behind you the hallooing future...

...Zoom! There goes the gay fuckerteer chasing the tail of light.....

...The habitual myth has an eagerness to quit...

Post #64 - 02 Sep 2019, 10:53

Recreate the thrill of winning an argument with your wife by sitting in a library for three days.
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StuckupPercy
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Post #65 - 02 Sep 2019, 22:25

Man goes into a saloon and orders a scotch on the rocks and sits there sipping it. Two other men walk in and sit nearby and start talking about how prices are going up in saloons and the free lunch is a thing of the past. This prompts the original patron to offer this:

- I know of a place where drafts are only a quarter, the beer nuts and Slim Jims are free, and you can go into a back room and have all the sex you want for free!

- That must be a load of malarkey, I've never heard of anything like that.

- It's true and the saloon is right here in the city on the other side of town.

- Bar tender, I think it's cutoff time for our scotch drinking friend here.

- Disbelieve if you wish but it's true. Quarter drafts; free snacks; and all the free sex you want.

- Answer me this one question: Have you ever been there?!?

- No I haven't personally... but my sister has!
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Father Hasil Cocteau, SJ;
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...before you the wimpled past, behind you the hallooing future...

...Zoom! There goes the gay fuckerteer chasing the tail of light.....

...The habitual myth has an eagerness to quit...

Post #66 - 03 Sep 2019, 06:10

:clap:
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Circus Monkey
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Post #67 - 08 Sep 2019, 06:08

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Country Bloke
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