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 Tell us a joke ; A man walks into a bar.....

Post #101 - 14 Mar 2020, 11:31

:lol:
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Father Hasil Cocteau, SJ;
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...before you the wimpled past, behind you the hallooing future...

...Zoom! There goes the gay fuckerteer chasing the tail of light.....

...The habitual myth has an eagerness to quit...

...Visionary Tics Shivering In The Chest...

Post #102 - 14 Mar 2020, 11:33




Workers of the World, Untie!!!
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Father Hasil Cocteau, SJ;
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...before you the wimpled past, behind you the hallooing future...

...Zoom! There goes the gay fuckerteer chasing the tail of light.....

...The habitual myth has an eagerness to quit...

...Visionary Tics Shivering In The Chest...

Post #103 - 14 Mar 2020, 11:40



I know a few people who have dailysex. :)
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routemaster
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Southampton 0-9 LCFC - the biggest ever away victory in the 131-year history of the Football League :lcfc:

Post #104 - 14 Mar 2020, 11:46

Yes, it seems to be inebriated in a small % of humanity.
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Father Hasil Cocteau, SJ;
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Posts: 6288
Joined: 28th Jul 2019
Location: Way back in the hills
...before you the wimpled past, behind you the hallooing future...

...Zoom! There goes the gay fuckerteer chasing the tail of light.....

...The habitual myth has an eagerness to quit...

...Visionary Tics Shivering In The Chest...

Post #105 - 17 Mar 2020, 08:33

Teacher: "Sara can you give me a sentence with the word 'contagious in it?"

Sara: "Our neighbour is painting his fence with a 2 inch brush and my dad says it will take the contagious to finish it."
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Chavahoy
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Post #106 - 17 Mar 2020, 10:08

^^ LOL!!
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Mushshrooms
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Post #107 - 21 Mar 2020, 09:22

A man was watching TV and drinking a beer.
"Don't go in," he yelled at the screen. "Do not enter that building..... Run for your life..... Arrrgh, you schmuck!"
His wife called from the kitchen, "What on earth are you watching?"
"Our wedding video."
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Post #108 - 23 Mar 2020, 23:16

A man came to visit his grandparents, and he noticed his grandfather sitting on the porch in the rocking chair wearing only a shirt, with nothing on from the waist down.
'Grandpa, what are you doing? Your weenie is out in the wind for everyone to see!' he exclaimed.
The old man looked off in the distance without answering.
'Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?' he asked again.
The old man slowly looked at him and said, 'Well...last week I sat out here with no shirt on and I got a stiff neck. This is your grandma's idea.'
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Post #109 - 29 Mar 2020, 13:25

I can't think of one thing that I like about Switzerland.

The flag is a big plus though.

:laugh:
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Post #110 - 29 Mar 2020, 21:56

Happy Jack » Sun Mar 29, 2020 12:25 pm wrote:I can't think of one thing that I like about Switzerland.

The flag is a big plus though.

:laugh:

HUH??? :shrug:
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Post #111 - 29 Mar 2020, 22:22

Mushshrooms » Sun Mar 29, 2020 9:56 pm wrote:
Happy Jack » Sun Mar 29, 2020 12:25 pm wrote:I can't think of one thing that I like about Switzerland.

The flag is a big plus though.

:laugh:

HUH??? :shrug:

I understood it and it raised a smile.

Dan
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Post #112 - 30 Mar 2020, 02:26

dannynomates » Sun Mar 29, 2020 9:22 pm wrote:
Mushshrooms » Sun Mar 29, 2020 9:56 pm wrote:
Happy Jack » Sun Mar 29, 2020 12:25 pm wrote:I can't think of one thing that I like about Switzerland.

The flag is a big plus though.

:laugh:

HUH??? :shrug:

I understood it and it raised a smile.

Dan

BULLSHIT!!
You wouldn't know a joke if you woke up in bed with one with it's lips wrapped around your cock!! :radged: :radged:
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Mushshrooms
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Post #113 - 30 Mar 2020, 06:53

Mushshrooms » Mon Mar 30, 2020 2:26 am wrote:
dannynomates » Sun Mar 29, 2020 9:22 pm wrote:
Mushshrooms » Sun Mar 29, 2020 9:56 pm wrote:
Happy Jack » Sun Mar 29, 2020 12:25 pm wrote:I can't think of one thing that I like about Switzerland.

The flag is a big plus though.

:laugh:

HUH??? :shrug:

I understood it and it raised a smile.

Dan

BULLSHIT!!
You wouldn't know a joke if you woke up in bed with one with it's lips wrapped around your cock!! :radged: :radged:

I don't get it.

Dan
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Post #114 - 30 Mar 2020, 07:14

See what I mean!!!???
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Mushshrooms
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Post #115 - 02 Apr 2020, 20:49

A married couple in their early 60s were out celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.

Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table and said, “For being such an exemplary married couple and for being faithful to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.”

“Ooh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband,” said the wife. The fairy moved her magic wand and – abracadabra! – two tickets for the new QM2 luxury liner appeared in her hands.

Now it was the husband’s turn. He thought for a moment and said: “Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this only occurs once in a lifetime, so, I’m sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me”.

The wife and the fairy were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish…

So the fairy made a circle with her magic wand and -abracadabra! the husband was 92 years old.

The morals of this story: Men are ungrateful idiots and fairies are female!
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Post #116 - 05 Apr 2020, 02:04

Oldie but a goodie:
I was sitting there at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink, and gulps it down in one swig.
"Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says menacingly, as I burst into tears.
"This is the worst day of my life," I wail. I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting, and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen, and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home, where I found my wife in bed with another man . . . and then my dog bit me! So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all. I buy a drink, I drop a cyanide capsule in, and I sit here watching the poison slowly dissolve . . . and then you show up and drink the whole damn thing! But enough about my shit day, how are you doing?"
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Post #117 - 05 Apr 2020, 11:24

Doctor - "You have a severe case of hypochondria"

Man - "Oh not that as well!"
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Happy Jack
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Post #118 - 09 Apr 2020, 14:30

Su's cat Harry (Hurry up Harry, come on) has disappeared.

She is out and about shouting his name.

I tried to help'with this:

''It's Easter. If he has died he may come back again in 3 days'

She told me to fuck off and have you packed your things.
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Happy Jack
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Post #119 - 09 Apr 2020, 14:54

Q- 'Why did the chicken cross the road?'

A- 'To get to the idiots' side'

'Knock knock'
''Who's there?'

'The chicken'
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Happy Jack
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Post #120 - 09 Apr 2020, 17:55

If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?
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Father Hasil Cocteau, SJ;
BOQ Lay Preacher
 
Posts: 6288
Joined: 28th Jul 2019
Location: Way back in the hills
...before you the wimpled past, behind you the hallooing future...

...Zoom! There goes the gay fuckerteer chasing the tail of light.....

...The habitual myth has an eagerness to quit...

...Visionary Tics Shivering In The Chest...

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