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Post #101 - 09 Aug 2018, 19:55

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It's a crap joke but I liked the picture. :drool:
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Butch Cassady
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Post #102 - 15 Aug 2018, 07:50

I'd like to see how to evaluate a text taught in schools- who wrote it, what were their motivations in writing it, how close were they to the events they are writing about, who are they writing for, the sort of thing they should teach you in history and sociology.
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A Worthless Man
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Post #103 - 15 Aug 2018, 07:53

A Worthless Man » Wed Aug 15, 2018 7:50 am wrote:I'd like to see how to evaluate a text taught in schools- who wrote it, what were their motivations in writing it, how close were they to the events they are writing about, who are they writing for, the sort of thing they should teach you in history and sociology.

You thick cunt, it tells you on your phone who wrote the text. If you can't understand what it says there's a dictionary of text speak here:

https://www.netlingo.com/acronyms.php

If you want to clarify stuff about their motivations etc. why not just text them back?
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Greasy Roads
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Happy Days!

Post #104 - 15 Aug 2018, 09:55

The hot Chinese lady next door told me she was desperate for a roger. It wasn't till I had my trousers round my ankles that I realised she wanted to rent out her spare room.
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Country Bloke
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Post #105 - 24 Aug 2018, 20:16

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Ted Gardener
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Post #106 - 27 Aug 2018, 11:04

https://www.theguardian.com/business/2018/aug/26/uks-biggest-payday-lender-wonga-on-the-brink-of-collapse

UK's biggest payday lender Wonga 'on the brink of collapse' .

Couldn't they just go to QuikQuid?
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Country Bloke
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Post #107 - 27 Aug 2018, 20:10

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Country Bloke
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Post #108 - 09 Sep 2018, 07:31

I just heard that my Grief Counsellor has died.

Fortunately he was good at his job so I'm not bothered.
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Country Bloke
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Post #109 - 13 Sep 2018, 20:16

I managed to curl one out the other day and it touched the water before breaking off.
Pretty chuffed considering I was on the middle diving board.
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Country Bloke
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Post #110 - 14 Sep 2018, 10:50

Primary School Children Writing About The Sea

1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles .(Kelly age 6)
2) Oysters balls are called pearls. (James age 6)
3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an island . If you don't have sea all round you, you are incontinent. ( Wayne age 7)
4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)
5) A dolphin breathes through an arsehole on the top of it's head. (Billy age 8 )
6) My dad goes out in his boat, and comes back with crabs. (Emily age 5)
7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans. (William age 7)
8 ) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6)
9) I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mum, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy age 6)
10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)
11) When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin age 6)
12) Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky age 8 )
13) On holiday my Mum went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water shot up her fanny (Julie age 7).
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Country Bloke
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Post #111 - 14 Sep 2018, 12:42

My son's father is a cunt (Routemaster age 51).
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Jim Skidder
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Proud to be a plant wrangler from Texas. :)

Post #112 - 14 Sep 2018, 13:14

Jim Skidder » Fri Sep 14, 2018 1:42 pm wrote:My son's father is a cunt (Routemaster age 51).

Once again you are hopelessly wrong. :grrr:


I'm 54...
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routemaster
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Grade A triple platinum cunt Image

Post #113 - 29 Sep 2018, 09:50

Masculinity doesn't have anything intrinsically to do with men.

Dan
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dannynomates
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Post #114 - 11 Oct 2018, 18:41

I’ve just published a book on preserving the rain-forest and what we can do as the human race to help protect it. It’s over 2000 pages long. :)
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Potty
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Post #115 - 19 Oct 2018, 07:02

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https://www.gazettelive.co.uk/news/tees ... s-15299765

North Yorkshire Council blows £1,600 on feast - moments after claiming it's too skint to help disabled kids. Who voted these people in? Oh yes, the cunts in North Yorkshire. :huh:
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StickupPercy
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Post #116 - 19 Oct 2018, 20:24

StickupPercy » Fri Oct 19, 2018 7:02 am wrote:Image

https://www.gazettelive.co.uk/news/tees ... s-15299765

North Yorkshire Council blows £1,600 on feast - moments after claiming it's too skint to help disabled kids. Who voted these people in? Oh yes, the cunts in North Yorkshire. :huh:

The Tory cunts in North Yorkshire. :grrr:
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T. Totale
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Post #117 - 23 Oct 2018, 20:07

Like a cat returning to it's vomit, two years ago I posted on another forum that the Cocteau Twins played the Royal Festival Hall in London on Tuesday 8 May 1984. I'd just like to re-iterate this fact as it makes me look smug and very clever.

Dan
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dannynomates
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Post #118 - 23 Oct 2018, 22:14

dannynomates » Tue Oct 23, 2018 8:07 pm wrote:Like a cat returning to it's vomit, two years ago I posted on another forum that the Cocteau Twins played the Royal Festival Hall in London on Tuesday 8 May 1984. I'd just like to re-iterate this fact as it makes me look smug and very clever.

Dan

Och we remember that night very well. We spotted some wee cunt in a black shirt and tie, bald headed fucker with glasses in tae front roo traeing tae look up Liz's skirt. That was ye, wasnae it, ye sick fuck. :angry:
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The Cocteau Twins
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Post #119 - 23 Oct 2018, 22:38

Think I saw a photo of Dan once. The tie bit I can imagine, but don't think he was bald.

Sounds more like Routemaster :wanker: given a picture I saw on here. :angry:
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Sonofsmegma
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Post #120 - 24 Oct 2018, 07:17

Sonofsmegma » Tue Oct 23, 2018 11:38 pm wrote:Think I saw a photo of Dan once. The tie bit I can imagine, but don't think he was bald.

Sounds more like Routemaster :wanker: given a picture I saw on here. :angry:

Dan's as bald as a coot Sonofsmegma, makes him even more bitter. :huh:
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StickupPercy
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