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 Odd news

Post #381 - 19 Jun 2020, 18:20

Father Hasil Cocteau, SJ; » Fri Jun 19, 2020 6:11 pm wrote:This was, or is, a Minnesota vehicle and since it's registered in that northern state, the odds are pretty good the people involved in trying to trying to help Ms Pinhead would hit upon the solution; viz, to have a strong person grab one leg securely while another took a secure hold on the unfortunate woman's other leg, while the third person drove the vehicle forward. No doubt someone would have thought to lubricate Ms Pinhead's noggin with K-Y jelly or similar and - problem solved!
The alternative would be to take a hacksaw and cut off the portion of the exhaust pipe immediately above her head and send her on her way with cries of "good luck" and "best wishes."

:lol:
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Post #382 - 20 Jun 2020, 00:22

Father Hasil Cocteau, SJ; » Fri Jun 19, 2020 5:11 pm wrote:This was, or is, a Minnesota vehicle and since it's registered in that northern state, the odds are pretty good the people involved in trying to trying to help Ms Pinhead would hit upon the solution; viz, to have a strong person grab one leg securely while another took a secure hold on the unfortunate woman's other leg, while the third person drove the vehicle forward. No doubt someone would have thought to lubricate Ms Pinhead's noggin with K-Y jelly or similar and - problem solved!
The alternative would be to take a hacksaw and cut off the portion of the exhaust pipe immediately above her head and send her on her way with cries of "good luck" and "best wishes."

Both are elegant solutions. :grin:
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Post #383 - 24 Jun 2020, 12:44

Theft of a can of Cherry Coke.

https://www.newsandstar.co.uk/news/1676 ... pare-room/

It's the minor details in the report that I enjoy. :grin:
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Post #384 - 24 Jun 2020, 12:50

Another one on crime in these parts. Theft of onion bhajis and a slice of birthday cake by burglar.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/articl ... arden.html

We just can't get the quality of criminals aroung here. :shake:
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Post #385 - 24 Jun 2020, 12:57

Happy Jack » 12 minutes ago wrote:Theft of a can of Cherry Coke.

https://www.newsandstar.co.uk/news/1676 ... pare-room/

It's the minor details in the report that I enjoy. :grin:


And no, it wasn't me. The daft cunt only drank 3/4 of the bottle of wine. :huh:
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Post #386 - 03 Jul 2020, 07:13

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https://metro.co.uk/2020/06/07/doctors- ... -12817134/

Doctors remove mobile phone charger from man’s bladder. :D
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Post #387 - 10 Jul 2020, 18:28

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https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2020/ ... y-ran-185m

Noah Lyles smashes Usain Bolt's 200m record – then discovers he only ran 185m. :rolleyes:
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Post #388 - 12 Jul 2020, 07:35

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https://metro.co.uk/2020/07/11/mannequi ... -12977634/

Jimmy Savile mannequin replaces toppled statue of slave trader Edward Colston in Bristol. :mellow:
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Post #389 - 12 Jul 2020, 16:32

They should put up a statue of Diana Dors there: "She couldn't act much but she put on a show..." The Kinks
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Post #390 - 12 Jul 2020, 16:47

Father Hasil Cocteau, SJ; » Sun Jul 12, 2020 4:32 pm wrote:They should put up a statue of Diana Dors there: "She couldn't act much but she put on a show..." The Kinks

Diana Dors' real name was Diana Fluck. After she became famous she was invited back to her home town of Swindon to open a church fete. The somewhat nervous vicar greeted her thus:

“Ladies and gentlemen, it is with great pleasure that I introduce to you our star guest. We all love her, especially as she is our local girl. I therefore feel it right to introduce her by her real name.

“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the very lovely Miss Diana Clunt.”
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Post #391 - 12 Jul 2020, 18:05

:clap: :lol:


That's quite an ad lib/flub on the preacher's part. Thanks. That's the kind of news you don't get in the news media. :)
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Post #392 - 17 Jul 2020, 07:24

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https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/weird- ... s-22323445

An eccentric gardener has cobbled together a moped engine and a broken wheelbarrow to create the fastest barrow in history, and he's already got the world's fastest shed. :clap:
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Post #393 - 17 Jul 2020, 09:02

Greasy Roads » Fri Jul 17, 2020 7:24 am wrote:Image

https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/weird- ... s-22323445

An eccentric gardener has cobbled together a moped engine and a broken wheelbarrow to create the fastest barrow in history, and he's already got the world's fastest shed. :clap:

The dad-of-one said: "We've been in this horrible lockdown and I've spoken to friends who are really struggling with their mental health.


I think I'd be looking a bit closer to home. :wanker:
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Post #394 - 17 Jul 2020, 12:16

"Barrow of Love" comes next :)
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Post #395 - 24 Jul 2020, 08:28

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https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/articl ... ealer.html

Mother-of-two postmistress dubbed 'Deidre the Dealer' whose secret life as a cocaine pusher was exposed when she became fed-up of giving 'coke on tick' to client - who blew whistle to police.

Right, I'm just off to buy some 'stamps'. :)
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Post #396 - 27 Jul 2020, 08:06

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Post #397 - 27 Jul 2020, 09:56


Lovely dogs, they usually carry a barrel of brandy round their necks in case their owner needs a drink on the way home from the pub. :clap:
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Post #398 - 29 Jul 2020, 07:23

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https://news.sky.com/story/pair-hired-f ... s-11996365

Pair hired for man's broom sexual fantasy turn up in bedroom at wrong address with machetes. :D
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Post #399 - 01 Aug 2020, 07:13

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https://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/news/5 ... e-honking/

Sparky who played ‘noisy sex tape’ during packed meeting claims it was just a goose honking.

David West, an electrician for Redditch Borough Council, accidentally played a clip of a woman having sex during a packed meeting. :rolleyes:
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Post #400 - 01 Aug 2020, 09:09

More like this! :clap:

:grin:

More of this sort of stuff - and other weird / silly news stories will get 'em back here.

Perhaps. :)
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