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 Twitter ; What's good on there?

Post #61 - 30 Mar 2020, 01:24

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Sonofsmegma
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Post #62 - 30 Mar 2020, 13:09

dannynomates » Sun Mar 29, 2020 4:41 pm wrote:

Actually never mind me explaining how to post a Twitter link.

Sonofsmegma warned for posting pornographic images of sheep.

Dan


It's not pornographic, it's natural. :wanker:
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Post #63 - 30 Mar 2020, 13:21

Sonofsmegma » Mon Mar 30, 2020 1:09 pm wrote:
dannynomates » Sun Mar 29, 2020 4:41 pm wrote:

Actually never mind me explaining how to post a Twitter link.

Sonofsmegma warned for posting pornographic images of sheep.

Dan


It's not pornographic, it's natural. :wanker:

Not when the image is being used for self satisfying reasons, as I'm sure you're doing.

Dan
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Post #64 - 30 Mar 2020, 14:07

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Post #65 - 30 Mar 2020, 14:32

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Post #66 - 30 Mar 2020, 14:36

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Post #67 - 30 Mar 2020, 14:37

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Post #68 - 30 Mar 2020, 14:45

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Post #69 - 30 Mar 2020, 15:04

Sonofsmegma » Mon Mar 30, 2020 2:45 pm wrote:

None of this barrage of tweets are remotely amusing, interesting or educational, and this last one is simply a loop - the dog is not repeating the performance as the same group of people keep walking by.

Sonofsmegma warned for spamming the thread with tedious tweets.

Dan
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Post #70 - 30 Mar 2020, 21:40

This is educational, cunt. For the cat.

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Post #71 - 30 Mar 2020, 21:58

Sonofsmegma » Mon Mar 30, 2020 9:40 pm wrote:This is educational, cunt. For the cat.


That's pretty insensitive in the current climate, given the toilet roll situation. I'm not classed as vulnerable, so by the time I'm allowed in Tesco there's only Value Kitchen Roll left, and that grates.

Sonofsmegma warned for condoning toilet roll stockpiling.

Dan
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Post #72 - 30 Mar 2020, 22:49

The French scientist and writer of the early 1500s, Rabelais, said the the softest and best post-toilet item was a live goose's neck. I guess that's out of the question but 500 years ago it was the first choice - first choice of Francois anyway. :)
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Post #73 - 30 Mar 2020, 22:55

Father Hasil Cocteau, SJ; » Mon Mar 30, 2020 9:49 pm wrote:The French scientist and writer of the early 1500s, Rabelais, said the the softest and best post-toilet item was a live goose's neck.


:grin:
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Post #74 - 31 Mar 2020, 07:13

Father Hasil Cocteau, SJ; » Mon Mar 30, 2020 10:49 pm wrote:The French scientist and writer of the early 1500s, Rabelais, said the the softest and best post-toilet item was a live goose's neck. I guess that's out of the question but 500 years ago it was the first choice - first choice of Francois anyway. :)

So did he keep a live goose in the khazi? How did he stop the goose giving his shitter a nasty peck? And what if he had to go back for seconds, did he get a fresh goose? :wtf:
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Post #75 - 31 Mar 2020, 07:39

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Post #76 - 31 Mar 2020, 14:45

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Post #77 - 01 Apr 2020, 17:41

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Post #78 - 01 Apr 2020, 17:49

StuckupPercy » Yesterday, 06:13 wrote:
Father Hasil Cocteau, SJ; » Mon Mar 30, 2020 10:49 pm wrote:The French scientist and writer of the early 1500s, Rabelais, said the the softest and best post-toilet item was a live goose's neck. I guess that's out of the question but 500 years ago it was the first choice - first choice of Francois anyway. :)

So did he keep a live goose in the khazi? How did he stop the goose giving his shitter a nasty peck? And what if he had to go back for seconds, did he get a fresh goose? :wtf:



I don't know the answers to your questions - if you find any please post for our benefit - but his books are still in print after 500 years so, accuracy aside, they are pretty entertaining in a Middle Ages gross way. It was either Gargantua or Pantagruel who repelled those who were invading Paris by climbing to the top of Notre Dame and urinating on the Huns, thus saving the city.

You know, thinking about Rabelais, he may have made some of this up :D
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Post #79 - 01 Apr 2020, 18:11

According to the book:

“But, to conclude, I say and maintain, that of all torcheculs, arsewisps, bumfodders, tail-napkins, bunghole cleansers, and wipe-breeches, there is none in the world comparable to the neck of a goose, that is well downed, if you hold her head betwixt your legs. And believe me therein upon mine honour, for you will thereby feel in your nockhole a most wonderful pleasure, both in regard of the softness of the said down and of the temporate heat of the goose, which is easily communicated to the bum-gut and the rest the inwards, in so far as to come even to the regions of the heart and brains.”

That's sold me on it, I'm off down the farm. :)
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Post #80 - 01 Apr 2020, 18:17

:clap:
Thanky!!!

My "nockhole" is calling out for geese. See youse at the farm! :grin:

Geese - here we come
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...The habitual myth has an eagerness to quit...

...Visionary Tics Shivering In The Chest...

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