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 The "Fall In Twos" Blog

Post #21 - 07 Aug 2018, 21:51

Loving your reviews Steve70something, much better than the 7" singles one Greasy Roads is doing. :clap:
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Amber
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Post #22 - 08 Aug 2018, 22:27

Thank you Amber, the other reviews are crap aren't they? :)

Two Librans
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What can I say? Other than that this is a rather tiresome garage rant about Cambodians and Nelson in Timor and Tolstoy and Oprah Winfrey studying bees. I will reflect that this is, exiting two years, not perfect. Whup! 6/10


15 Ways
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I've used a lo-fi video because it features the lovely Lucy Rimmer and a Leyland Sherpa within the first minute of the song, I digress. This is The Fall at their peak, there must be fifteen, no ten, no eight ways to leave your man. Also note the fantastic twin drummers (Karl and Funky Si) break @2m 11s, it's phenominally brilliant and not at all tedious and average. A true Fall original in fact. 10/10
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Steve70nearly
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Post #23 - 09 Aug 2018, 07:28

Amber » Tue Aug 07, 2018 9:51 pm wrote:Loving your reviews Steve70something, much better than the 7" singles one Greasy Roads is doing. :clap:

Any cunt can post few links to youTube videos. And he's Welsh. :grrr:
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Greasy Roads
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Happy Days!

Post #24 - 14 Aug 2018, 22:09

My next two. :)

Hey! Luciani
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Well this is all rather average isn't it? MES rambles on about Pope John Paul 1's demise after 33 days as pope, but the lyrics are not up to his usual brilliance.
Aborteum
I said Luciani
The future's here today
I said Hey Luciani
Pope of three three days

They made out you were are an ultra nut
And had no time for your Christianity
You paid with your life for their treachery
The future's here today


Sorry but it's hardly Reformation! is it? 3/10 :mellow:


Hey! Marc Riley
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Oh wow! This is classic Fall, acerbic lyrics and a riff to die for. I swear it's lifted directly from Bow Wow Wow's 'I Want Candy'...astonishing music. MES must have been so upset when Riley left, the words are so touching.
Hey! Mark Riley had a home
In that home he had some lizards
Lizards here, and lizards there,
Lizards and spiders crawling everywhere

He had a manager called Khambatta
We've always known him as a bit of a dancer
And we all know him as a pillock

Hey! Marc Riley!


This is The Fall in full flow, a beautiful tribute to Mark's old friend. Brix interjects between the lines with some delightfully shrieked words. Riley reciprocated with a ditty about MES called 'Jumper Clown' and that was pure brilliance too. Happy days as they say and a 10/10. :clap:
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Steve70nearly
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Post #25 - 15 Aug 2018, 22:13

Here's two more :)

Australians In Europe
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This is absolute wank, a sub Van Halen pisstake that I will not be brow beaten by fellow forumites into awarding anything more than 0/10. :angry:


The City Never Sleeps
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OMFG! There are no two ways about it, this is bloody fantastic. This sounds nothing like The Fall, or indeed bad Fall, but that doesn't matter because MES doesn't want it to sound like The Fall, it's Lucy Rimmer's babe and she has the voice of an angel on this. :wub: Chumbawamba would love to have written this for one of their b-sides, it's that brilliant, the original by Nancy Sinatra pales into insignificance. 10/10
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Steve70nearly
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Post #26 - 16 Aug 2018, 07:49

Steve70nearly » Wed Aug 15, 2018 10:13 pm wrote:Here's two more :)

Australians In Europe
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This is absolute wank, a sub Van Halen pisstake that I will not be brow beaten by fellow forumites into awarding anything more than 0/10. :angry:

I couldn't agree more and nobody wants Australians in Europe. :angry:
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Mr. Martial
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Post #27 - 18 Aug 2018, 20:47

Quite Mr Martial.


My latest offering.

Early Days of Channel Fuhrer
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It's dismal this one, possibly the most dismal and tedious song in the entire back catalogue. The contrast between MES’s plaintive and frankly tuneless vocals, and the plaintive and frankly tiresome guitar and percussion brushstrokes is frankly plaintive and tiresome. :yawn: 1/10


League Moon Monkey Mix
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Shag a sheep, this is more like it. If like me you're a particular fan of Ibiza nightclub karaoke, this is going to get those feet tapping. They should have released this as a single instead of that Grudgeful nonsense, it would have romped up the hit parade. 10/10


There may be a bit of a gap between this and the next as I have the kids over this week. Also the wife wants me to do some jobs as the house is a fucking tip. I'm sure you won't mind this intrusion. :(
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Steve70nearly
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Post #28 - 19 Aug 2018, 06:54

Steve70nearly » Sat Aug 18, 2018 8:47 pm wrote:Quite Mr Martial.


My latest offering.

Early Days of Channel Fuhrer
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It's dismal this one, possibly the most dismal and tedious song in the entire back catalogue. The contrast between MES’s plaintive and frankly tuneless vocals, and the plaintive and frankly tiresome guitar and percussion brushstrokes is frankly plaintive and tiresome. :yawn: 1/10

This should be 11/10 just for having 'fuehrer' in the title. :angry:
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Dr Ron Jock
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Making America great again.

Post #29 - 19 Aug 2018, 21:11

Dr Ron Jock » Sun Aug 19, 2018 6:54 am wrote:
Steve70nearly » Sat Aug 18, 2018 8:47 pm wrote:Quite Mr Martial.


My latest offering.

Early Days of Channel Fuhrer
phpBB [video]


It's dismal this one, possibly the most dismal and tedious song in the entire back catalogue. The contrast between MES’s plaintive and frankly tuneless vocals, and the plaintive and frankly tiresome guitar and percussion brushstrokes is frankly plaintive and tiresome. :yawn: 1/10

This should be 11/10 just for having 'fuehrer' in the title. :angry:

It doesn't have 'fuehrer' in the title, though technically it should have 'führer'. :huh:
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Steve70nearly
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Post #30 - 19 Aug 2018, 21:23

Steve70nearly » Sun Aug 19, 2018 9:11 pm wrote:
Dr Ron Jock » Sun Aug 19, 2018 6:54 am wrote:
Steve70nearly » Sat Aug 18, 2018 8:47 pm wrote:Quite Mr Martial.


My latest offering.

Early Days of Channel Fuhrer
phpBB [video]


It's dismal this one, possibly the most dismal and tedious song in the entire back catalogue. The contrast between MES’s plaintive and frankly tuneless vocals, and the plaintive and frankly tiresome guitar and percussion brushstrokes is frankly plaintive and tiresome. :yawn: 1/10

This should be 11/10 just for having 'fuehrer' in the title. :angry:

It doesn't have 'fuehrer' in the title, though technically it should have 'führer'. :huh:

When we fascists gain power, Welsh cunts like you will be first up against the wall. :grrr:
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Dr Ron Jock
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Making America great again.

Post #31 - 30 Aug 2018, 12:46

Fuck you Dr Ron Jock. :grrr:

I'm back from Bala, here's my latest duo. :)


Edinburgh Man
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Someone at a lesser Fall Forum suggested that Shiftwork was a piss poor re-hash of Extricate, and I think this is correct. Edinburgh Man is definitely a copy of Bill Is Dead which was tiresome and slushy enough without making it worse. I dislike it intensely, it's simply not...nice. What is nice is the inclusion in the video of an old Leyland Atlantean, @0:16, so I'll be generous by awarding a 2/10.


Secession Man
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Another duo of "man" songs, how odd. Anyway, drop me in a field with a horny Welsh ram, this is marvellous, and much less dreary than boring old Edinburgh Man. See it has all the traditional ingredients of a proper Fall tune, the xylophone, the full brass section, the repetition.
"Other man
Other man
Other man
Other man
You're the one who always runs the show
Other man
Other man"

The only thing letting this masterpiece down is that at 4m 49s, it's far too short. I'd like to have seen another three minutes of
"Other man
Other man
Other man
Other man
You're the one who always runs the show
Other man
Other man"

at least, so it's a point dropped sadly. 9/10
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Post #32 - 31 Aug 2018, 07:21

Steve, your reviews are fucking crap, why not do away with the words and just add the score out of ten, I think that would work better. 2/10
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Joan Con
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Post #33 - 31 Aug 2018, 19:15

Joan Con » Fri Aug 31, 2018 7:21 am wrote:Steve, your reviews are fucking crap, why not do away with the words and just add the score out of ten, I think that would work better. 2/10

I think he should do away with both the words and the score out of ten.
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In The North
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Post #34 - 01 Sep 2018, 20:05

^^^ Thank you both for your valuable contributions, as ever they're noted and ignored. :finger:

Here's two more.

Rowche Rumble
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I've said it before, early Fall is a difficult era for me, and this abomination is no exception. Greasy Roads wrote about it in his 45's blog and raved about it, but he talks out of his arse and it's not for me. A tuneless dirge, way too lo-fi and sounding like it's recorded in a cupboard. I can barely hear a bassline so it's a wonder Hanley kept his job on this performance. I've posted a link from a 7" single source just to highlight the terrible sound quality, readers wanting to investigate more should stick to the deluxe CD reissue where three or four alternative mixes are on offer, all pleasantly remastered. 2/10 or 4/10 for the re-dux.


Happi Song
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Slip me a leek, this is gorgeous! I've always loved Eleni's keyboard contributions but when she takes to the mic, it's pure heaven. This is her very best, a Nico infuenced ditty sung so solomnly yet with such passion, it brings me out in goosebumps every time I hear it. MES attempts to ruin it with some barks and yelps in the background, but it makes no difference. This is actually better than The City Sleeps Tonight, which I gave top marks, I can think of only one fair award: 10*/10 :wub:
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Post #35 - 01 Sep 2018, 22:10

Image

Steve70nearly talking recently.
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Greasy Roads
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Happy Days!

Post #36 - 02 Sep 2018, 22:40

Then I shall talk some more. :grrr:

Another duo of Fall oddities, and they are fucking odd. :wtf:


Ivanhoe's Two Pence
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Hmm, a laxidasical ramble of a b-side shoved on the back of the Masquerade CD single, it trundles on relentlessly without actually going anywhere. Any suggestions that this tedious wank should have appeared on Levitate are misguided, it's a b-side and that's where it belongs. :yawn: 3/10


Symbol Of Mordgan
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Well this is more of a surprise than a bottleneck at Capel Curig, I'd never heard this before! What we have, ignoring the supposed lyrics that the Youtube uploader added, is a delightful acoustic piece, interjected with a delicate keyboard riff, it's positively lovely without any sign of MES influence. I'm going to slightly downgrade the points as it stops dead at 2m 42s, and could have gone on for another ten minutes imo, but have a listen, Brix had returned and would never sound as good again. :wub: 9.5/10
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Post #37 - 05 Sep 2018, 12:17

Steve70nearly » Sun Sep 02, 2018 11:40 pm wrote:

Ivanhoe's Two Pence
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Hmm, a laxidasical ramble of a b-side shoved on the back of the Masquerade CD single, it trundles on relentlessly without actually going anywhere. Any suggestions that this tedious wank should have appeared on Levitate are misguided, it's a b-side and that's where it belongs. :yawn: 3/10



You cloth eared cunt, Starsky-Jalfrezi and I love that song, we call it "Our Song" and we don't take kindly to it being slagged off on here. :angry:
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Grade A triple platinum cunt Image

Post #38 - 05 Sep 2018, 20:18

routemaster » Wed Sep 05, 2018 1:17 pm wrote:You cloth eared cunt...

Image Image Image

:wanker:
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Post #39 - 05 Sep 2018, 20:23

I've heard about that little liason with Starsky-Jalfrezi and quite frankly it's a disturbing image I don't care to think about. :X

Thank you for your comment Jim Skidder, I wholeheartedly agree. :huh:


Here's the next two.

Bury 1+3
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I've tried, I really have but I can never get past 1m 30s of this. It begins with some sort of crackley distortion before going into an unbelievably lo-fi tune, and a tune it is because despite the sound being muffled as if recorded in a sheep shearing shed three barns away, it has the makings of a big hit. As I said though, after 90 seconds of this torment, I've always given up with it. Face it 6m 30s must be unbearable. 3/10


White Lines
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Roddy Llewellyn on a Welsh ram, this is good. A rare out-take from one of the Receiver comps, it isn't actually The Fall at all, it's Orbital. Quite how Orbital got one of their tracks on a Fall collection is beyond me, but review it I must. And being Orbital, it's fucking majestic, a fine techno piece that would fill the Ministry Of Sound dancefloors with E'd up ravers back in the day. Probably better than League Moon Monkey mix, and you recall my love of that particular club anthem. MES would have been so proud that this was included with his own work. 10/10
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Post #40 - 05 Sep 2018, 22:23

Steve70nearly » Wed Sep 05, 2018 9:23 pm wrote:Thank you for your comment Jim Skidder, I wholeheartedly agree. :huh:

I'd just like to add that he's a cunt.
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